Living overseas has
made me acutely aware of the needs of others. Yes, in the first year or two of
international living, everything is exciting. Every challenge is seen as
something that pushes you to become more independent, self -reliant, and
“worldly”. However, when the rush and excitement begin to fade, those daily
challenges that once stirred the spirit of the traveler in me have now become more of an obstacle. Not
having someone to talk to, complain to, rely on, or simply show up and give
support for no apparent reason has a tiring affect.
So, when I saw an old man
in a wheelchair this morning scooting himself with his feet slower than an
inmate on death row with shackles on his ankles, I decided to help. One of the
great moments of living internationally is that moment when language is no
longer an obstacle. Communication and language has caused disagreements,
arguments, fights, even wars, so when you have the opportunity to look someone
directly in the eye, wait for that split second when one human connects to
another human and you are united, it is a stirring experience.
Not being able
to speak any Japanese other than the obligatory “hello”, “goodbye”, “thank
you”, etc. I make a gesture of “pushing” and he smiles and nods in silence. He
points in one direction and I begin to push. Intersection after intersection,
block after block, my pushing becomes slower...not because I was tired or weak
but because I was slowly beginning to realize that he was simply enjoying a
stroll around the block as I was making myself late for work. However, one very
important thing that my daughter, Kristen, taught me when she was 3 years
old...wherever you are...that is where you need to be. The Buddhists call this
idea “being fully present”. Living “in the moment” without concern for the past
or the future. So, after a few quick thoughts, I begin to enjoy the stroll as
well not worrying about the stacks of work that will still be waiting for me
whether I am on time or not.
Just as we get about 7 blocks from our origin, the
next thought I have puts both me and him in a dead stop...I can't push this guy
all this way in one direction and leave him here...I need to get him back to
where we started. So, I stood in front of him and again make some pointing gestures.
He knows that his stroll has ended, so his eyes quickly scan the immediate area
and he sees a 7-Eleven (yes, they still exist and they are flourishing in
Asia). I push him inside and, as we make 2 complete tours of the store, I ask a
cashier for help. I ask if he speaks English and his reply, in Japanese, must
have been “do you speak any Japanese”...we didn't make prolonged eye contact
and share a moment.
I begin making gestures to show the workers that I don't
know the man I just pushed into the store nor do I know what he wants. He makes
the gesture of drinking and I suddenly realize that our shared silence was not
quite as magical as I had thought it was...he was unable to speak! So, I push
him to the soda area and he quickly side-grabs the cheapest sake alcohol on the
bottom shelf...then grabs a second one. Now, immediately my thought was, “Oh,
crap. This old, crippled, crazy man who can't speak wants to get drunk...this
could possibly kill him.” Then, two moments after I complete that thought, I began
seeing myself alone, helpless, and wanting to enjoy a stroll with someone and I
began seeing myself in that wheelchair. So, my next thought was, “Well, if I
was old, crippled, crazy, and unable to speak while relying solely on strangers
to give me a morning stroll, I would not only be OK with an alcohol induced
death, I would most likely welcome it.”
So, as we left the store, and I helped
him open his alcohol, he and I enjoyed the 7 block stroll back to where we
started.
He, with alcohol in hand, and me with him in my hands.
I think we both
enjoyed that stroll without words.
